My friend Rebecca and I have markedly different ways of dealing with emotional upheavals, both good and bad. When something disappointing happens, I seek comfort in food, going out to dinner and ordering oysters and rice pudding. Rebecca goes t o Aveda and buys expensive skin-care products. When I get good news, I rush out to buy shoes or nail polish (depending on my bank account) while Rebecca goes out for steak frites.

Last month was an especially turbulent time for both of us. We bounced back and forth between work-related successes and personal disasters and by the end of it all, all we wanted was to go out to dinner somewhere nice. Not too nice, since mon ey is always an issue, but nicer than the sushi place down the block where they know our names. We needed a treat, a special place that we could afford.

The perfect place, we agreed, would have to have a nice selection of wines by the glass, something creatively carnivorous for Rebecca, and something green, leafy and raw for me. And of course a gooey, rich dessert for both of us. We wanted comf ortable chairs, flowers in the W.C., and candles on the tables. Generally, these are the restaurants I like best, those places where you dress up if you want, where the waiters are not condescending men in tuxedos, and where paying the check does not exclude paying overdue taxes in the same month. And thankfully, there are many great little places that perfectly fit the bill, and some of the city's most elegant establishments have less expensive cafe areas close enough to the dining room to allow everyone to share that pampered feeling. Gramercy Tavern, where you can order quail and polenta in the bar area for $12.00 is a great example. A good hotel bar also offers the same upscale comfort, although usually we can only afford to get solace from one drink.

Most of all, we realized, when looking for a way to elevate an evening from the ordinary, we want a restaurant that takes itself, its food, and its customers equally seriously. An occasional treat, be it through food or skin care products, is a way to take care of ourselves, a way to say, I am worth this $17.00 rack of lamb and $8.00 glass of Cabernet. In turn, we want a restaurateur to concur, and take care of us as well.

And, after the meal is over, we still want to have enough money left on our credit cards to go shopping, too.

Ten Places That Make You Feel More Special Than The Money Spent:

Aquavit:
13 West 54th St.
(307-7311)
(the upstairs cafe is a great deal)

Eat and Drink:
148 Mercer St.
(925-2477)
(the downstairs cafe is more comfortable than upstairs, and it's cheaper)

Gramercy Tavern:
42 East 20th St.
(477-0777)
(the bar area is great for a budget, and it's lovely)

Il Buco:
47 Bond St.
(532-1932)

Le Jardin Bistro:
25 Cleveland Pl.
(343-9599)

Le Zoo:
314 West 11th St.
(620-0393)

Lobster Club:
24 East 80th St.
(249-6500)

Metisse:
239 West 105th St.
(666-8825)

Onieals Grand Street:
176 Grand St.
(941-9119)

Tompkins 131:
131 Avenue A
(777-5642)