Remember the good old days when you could inaugurate the perfect Mother's Day by sticking your palm in some tempura paint, pressing it on a paper plate and printing "MOM" on top in Crayola? Or putting a dandelion in a bud vase, pouring some Cheerios in a chipped bowl and delivering it, slightly milk-logged, to Mom in bed? Alas, that's just not gonna cut it anymore. (Unless you're out on a day pass from the group home and tying your shoes without spitting is cause for celebration.) No, now if you want to delight Mom on her special day, you'd better figure out where to take her for brunch.

CuisineNet, as a utilitarian AND amusing site, is here to help. Please click on the characterization that best describes your mom. Through the wonders of html coding, you will leap merrily to the proper restaurant for the dear old lady.

Is your mom:

• A busy careerwoman on the go?

• A bluehair?

• A biker chick wannabe in her second adolescence?

• A social x-ray?

• An Elvis fan/UFO/conspiracy theorist?

• A happy homemaker?

Hope this helps your reservation-making. Happy Mother's Day, foodies.