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USA

San Francisco Aphrodisiac Menus The Ritz-Carlton Dining Room offers a $92 five-course menu (served with four different champagnes, $135 ), accompanied by candlelight and harp. Chef Sylvain Portay offers an amuse bouche to start the meal, followed by a terrine of smoked salmon with caviar, roast scallops with leeks and fresh black truffle, lamb with zucchini and nicoise olives, and separate romantic desserts for ladies and gentlemen. Millennium, an haute vegetarian restaurant, doesn't limit itself to Valentine's Day. Its Aphrodisiac Night comes every Sunday closest to the full moon, all year round, and every Sunday in February. The four-course all-veg dinner of desire includes a special "love potion," an elixir containing ginseng and other arousing herbs. The evening concludes with a complimentary room in the adjoining jewel box Abigail Hotel, all for only $125/couple including tax and tip. On Friday and Saturday, February 14th and 15th, the Aphrodisiac Feast is five courses for $99 a couple, but alas, the room costs extra. Aqua starts off with warm oyster and caviar fritters, followed by potato and leek soup with sauteed dayboat scallops in beurre rouge. The main course is steamed Maine lobster with caramelized onion and mascarpone ravioli, and citrus roasted Chilean sea bass, AND Wellington of ahi tuna with imported black truffles, foie gras and red wine reduction. And there's a dessert, which I'm sure is merveilleux. The prix fixe is $85/person. New York Aphrodisiac Menus Akbar wants you to "share the erotic taste of India. Their Kama Sutra Valentine menu is $59 per person, and includes grilled salmon marinated in carom and resh dill, chicken breast stuffed with a pomegranate confit, quail in saffron, and capsicum (aka peppers) stuffed with potatoes and green peas. And that's just the appetizers: there are entrees and desserts, too. Romantic diners also receive a complementary assortment of essential oils (ooh) and Kama Sutra chocolates (aah) and can have their tarot cards read and/or their hands hennaed for an additional charge. Mmmm. On the Upper West, Citrus Bar and Grill provides a more affordable $28 per person prix fixe (called "Love Bites") that's a Southwestern feast, augmented with lobster ravioli, seared yellowfin tuna, and a chocolate mint angel food cake. For the kooky valentine, witness Caroline's Comedy Nation's version of the Dating Game: Nicole Contos, the world's most famous jiltee, who was dumped at the altar last year and still threw herself a party, will have three well-known comics (top secret!) to choose from The prix fixe dinner, for those who want to see the pain, includes wild mushroom-stuffed chicken breasts ($24.95 for two) or medallions of salmon ($28.95 for two), with lovely desserts ("Yin and Yang," a black and white chocolate mousse, $9.95, or "Aphrodite's Heart," cherry-filled heart tarts, $8.95). Other places with prix fixe valentine's menus: The Terrace Belzebu Chez Jaqueline

Many restaurants serve oysters on V-Day. Pourquoi? Anything resembling genitalia, like an oyster, is supposed to possess sexual powers. But there may be something to this oyster thing: they contain loads of zinc, which contributes to overall health, and Vitamin E, which makes you feel alert and vigorous. (News flash: it's not just oysters. Most seafood contains vitamin E.) Oysters are also slimy and seductive to eat and not so heavy that you feel comatose afterward. And if you regularly eat foods with lots of vitamins and minerals in 'em, you'll be a healthy person. Better overall health means better sexual performance.

Artichokes are expensive (like caviar and Godiva chocolates, those other aphrodisiacs), as well as slightly odd-tasting and hard to eat, so they feel fancy. They're also not too filling, so you don't feel too logy to faire l'amour. Plus there's something about stripping away the tough leaves that protect the tender heart that seems so...metaphorical.

Eating chilis and other spicy foods causes a raised heart rate and sweating -- gee, what other activity does that? Yet In 1989, the humorless Food and Drug Administration Link cannot start with a space! that there is no scientific proof that any non-prescription aphrodisiacs work. The FDA is so into SCIENCE.